For the Everyday Ordinary...

"Normal Day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all in the world, for your return." ~ Mary Jean Iron

Saturday, June 6, 2015

What if I fly?

I am on a journey.

I began the journey in November 2014 with a simple idea to take a few more steps per day than I was already taking (which wasn't much).

I began a journey of changing myself by changing old habits, old patterns.  By making physical changes to myself as well as mental and emotional changes. 

This past Friday I slipped back into an old habit - one of my old patterns of behaving and being - and I was so disappointed in myself.  I had let fear for and the actions of another person control my behavior.

Afterwards, I felt like I was letting others down, as well as myself.  I spent the afternoon beating myself up for it.

And then I realized I was being a perfectionist - which is an old, old pattern I thought I had done away with many years ago.

Apparently not.

The truth is (I'm sure this will shock you, right?): I am not perfect.  I want to be - I want to be good at everything I set out to do.  No, not just good - GREAT!  I want to do it perfectly - show up every single day for myself and others - perfectly.  Never let anyone down.  Never disappoint.  Never backslide.

I want to "walk the walk" and "talk the talk" and be taken seriously - and when I stumble, I berate myself for not doing it the "right" way.

I do not want to feel like a fraud.

This past 7 months has been an exercise in humility, patience and the realization that I need to let the journey unfold gently, day by day.  

My life in the past month has gone from 0 to 60 almost overnight. 

There is going to be some backsliding.  Some fear and doubt to work through.  Some "what the hell am I DOING??" moments.

And that is ok.

Perfectionism is the poison of any change we try to make in our lives.  

I have to remind myself to look at the entire picture.  To look at where I began, and where I am now and to give myself credit for the changes I HAVE made and the things I HAVE accomplished in that time.  For overcoming my fears, for pushing my own boundaries and making myself get out of my own head and my own comfort zone.

I feel like I am juggling 20 balls right now - and dropping them everywhere and scrambling to pick them up again.  I've added things to my life and I still have other things I am responsible for - and things that I truly need to let go of.

But at least I am still juggling - and I will give myself credit for that.  There is so much going on, where there was literally nothing before.

All I know is that I have stepped fully into this next Chapter of my life.  I want to live it FULL OUT with no regrets.  I want to know where my own limits are - and then push past them.  I have this one precious life to live and there are no do-overs.  I want to look back on it and smile the BIGGEST FREAKIN' SMILE, remembering my moxy, my determination and my own personal bravery.

I ask myself everyday: "what if I fall?"
  And I answer myself: "but what if I fly?"

What if YOU fly?

Joyfully,  Donna xo

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Spring, and pollen...and in the air!

Spring is definitely in full bloom here - including lots and lots of pollen that is making even the kitties sneezy.  I am not complaining, though. 

We've had lots of rain, but it has made everything green and lush and my lilacs are gorgeous this year!

I went out to the garden yesterday to begin getting it ready to plant and I was pulling up old tomato plants.  I noticed a bunch of dried grass and bits of fur and moved it slightly to find a "fluffle" of baby bunnies!  I was horrified that I had messed up their safe hiding place, so I immediately put all the debris back on the spot and hope that mama bunny can repair whatever damage I did to the hiding spot.  I didn't mess around too much with it, but I did see two sweet little bunny faces peering up at me.  Adorable! (edited to add that there are 5 cutie pies all together - I went back and counted)

We've also had some sun, and Princess Peepers has been blissfully enjoying every bit of it:

We've also had other adorable little visitors to our yard:

I've been so busy the past few weeks.  I've been helping my mom move into her new home in the next town over, so there has been last minute packing and car-loads of stuff going back and forth, but she is now in and settled into her beautiful new nest!

One day I got home and needed to lay down for a little bit to unwind.  My Tabberwocky came to snuggle with me - she is the BEST snuggler!

My cute, bad-ass hubs just earned his second degree blackbelt in Tae Kwon Do!  Look at this guy - if I tried to jump that high...well, that is just a fantasy.  There is no way I could jump this high:

I had a front row seat to his badassery!  It was quite impressive.  We are not exactly, um, spring chickens anymore. =)  Afterwards we went out to dinner with friends to celebrate.  I love the people from his Dojang - they are like a second family!

A dear friend of mine has been helping me through some physical stuff with essential oils.  It has helped me so much that I have decided to spend more time exploring their uses, so I became a member of Young Living Essential Oils - mainly to get the discounted prices of the oils.  They are heavenly!  I have been diffusing JOY (of course!) and sniffing peppermint (for my nausea - and, oh, has it helped!).  I am going to be learning how to use them in my home, as well, so stay tuned for more on that!

I have been learning lots about essential oils for allergies and asthma (especially helpful during this pollen season).  I LOVE mixing oils together to create blends that not only smell divine, but actually improve my health and are better for our environment all around.  I've been sharing my oils with my friends and family.  My son has accused me of being a peppermint addict...

And...I've begun a new workout program that is whipping this ol' bod into shape (there has even been talk of all of us taking an aerial silks class together - I'm SO onboard for that!!)  I love to feel my muscles actually toning up - it is an empowering feeling to know I am getting stronger and stronger!  I am hooping, of course (that is my most favorite thing to do in the WORLD) and looking into becoming a certified hoopdance and hoopfitness instructor.  I've lost 2 dress sizes (and I don't miss them at all!).  As I said...EMPOWERING!

(my super fun LED hoop taken in time-lapse - pretty cool!  I look like a spaceship!  Can't you just hear the dubstep: wompwompwompWOMPWOMPWOMP - I transform into a whirling dervish - ha!)

I've also been trying to keep up with my flute lessons - the past few weeks have been hit or miss, but I'm determined to get past the horrid squeaky phase and begin to play something again that actually sounds like has been several years since I've played my flutes.  So far my kitties DO NOT approve (I can't say I blame them...).

And finally, I have applied to the American College of Healthcare Services for their Holistic Health Practices program to begin in the fall!  It has taken me 4 years to figure things out, but I am SO ready for this next chapter of my life now!  I am still in the intake phase of it - my application has not yet been approved - but I am hopeful!  I have not been to school in...well, a very, very long time. Ha!  It will be a growing experience for me - but I love a really good, meaningful challenge!  Especially one that opens up a new future for me! =)

So, lots of spring, pollen and change in the air!  Good stuff - for the most part!  

What is happening in your world?  Please share!

Joyfully, Donna