Today I woke up feeling a bit..."off". Have you ever had one of those days? Like the day is just slightly off kilter, crooked, wonky...enough to make you feel like things just aren't lined up properly.
On most days - in fact yesterday - I felt so excited to be alive! I felt so much gratitude for my life, my kitchen, the sunshine. All day long I whispered "thank you!" over and over again.
Today I woke up and my coffee tasted funny. I heard a crash on my front porch and ran out to discover that a ground hog had nibbled the blossoms off of four pots of mums on my porch (greedy little bastard!) - knocking over 3 of the pots and breaking branches on what was left.
The pots of mums on the bale of hay with the adorable scarecrow, terra cotta pumpkin and little mini pumpkins and gourds nestled around it - the display we set up this weekend and never quite got around to taking a picture of for our Project Life album.
I yelled at the ground hog, who ambled a short distance away and then blinked slowly at me a few times, while nibbling on some late violets in my flower bed.
Later, I went out to the garden to discover that several of my last tomatoes had big bites taken out of them by a hungry deer AND to add insult to injury, a raccoon (or that pesky groundhog) took a dump on my deck.
Hooping always makes me feel better, but today I just could not find my rhythm and instead cracked myself pretty hard across the bridge of my nose. I kept it up for 30 minutes before saying "forget it" and tossing the hoop in the corner. I went for a 2 mile walk instead and thankfully, did not run into any groundhogs.
I had been doing some reading and researching on a project I want to work on - and suddenly felt overwhelmed by it all. All the baby steps needed to begin feel more like giant leaps. The idea of having to market a creative project felt like torture - all I want to do is create, you know?
Then I felt...old.
Like maybe the only thing I've ever been good at is just being a mom, a cook and baker, keeping a home, reading books. I suddenly felt silly wanting to be a writer, an artist, a hooper, physically fit, or someone capable of taking good photographs.
I felt ridiculous thinking about how I love my oracle cards, Reiki, talking to angels and trees and believing that there is magic in everyday things.
Today I felt like I was standing at the very base of all my dreams, with my head tilted so far back looking up to the tippy top of my dreams - invisible in the clouds.
Do you ever feel like that?
I'm hoping tomorrow I wake up and feel different, but for tonight I think I will just go to bed with a good book, a glass of wine and call it a day.